There is a story I
have been given permission to tell you by a beloved friend. For sake of keeping
things in confidence I have agreed to use made up names for them for both of their
sakes. This happens to be a truly touching and personal story. Read with care!
Thanks so much to my friend for allowing me to share.
Mark and Maddie were married for a very short
time, hence the title of this piece. Mark served a mission for the LDS Church
in the Nebraska Omaha Mission from July 2010-2012. He and Maddie had dated in
High School, on and off. It had always lead to pain and broken hearts. When he
got home from his mission they started dating again. While on his mission he
had been really nervous to tell her how he felt about her, that he was in love with
her. He eventually did tell her those words in a letter 2 months before he came
home.
They dated and he
had wanted to date other girls, had an open relationship, but it never worked
that way and they were engaged on September 30, 2012. It was a rocky
engagement, he told me. Maddie was up and down emotion wise. He said it was
really hard because it felt like he was on an emotional roller coaster ride the
whole time. She had anxiety attacks here and there. She was constantly in need
of attention and affection. According to him, it was really hard to handle it,
but he always did his best to see past the range of emotions. He loved her
still and did his best to be patient with her.
Mark met his best
friend in the Missionary Training Center in Provo, UT in July. Mark only ever
called him Byrd, so I will refer to him as such. Byrd flew in from Montana for
the wedding and, of course, stayed with Mark and his family. Maddie was with
Mark when they picked Byrd up, he had to meet the future Mrs. As the week went
on Byrd asked each of them about the wedding and what they were most excited
about. They could never say anything positive about it, just stress.
Mark goes on to tell
me about a very special, touching experience he and Byrd shared 2 nights before
the wedding. Mark came home from taking Maddie home that evening, fuming with
frustration and annoyance. Byrd was on the phone talking to someone, said, “I’ll
call you back later.” Hung up and asked what was wrong. Mark relayed what had
happened. Maddie had been asking him if he loved her and if he still wanted to
marry her. “We are getting married tomorrow, basically!” he said. Byrd replied
with, “Come here! Sit down and let’s talk.”
Byrd told him about
his experience with the two of them. They hadn’t said a single positive thing
about the wedding or about each other. He didn’t think they should get married.
Mark told me, something he will never forget Byrd telling him was, “I’m not
here for the wedding, I’m here for you. No matter what happens. I don’t want to
go home and when my mom asks me how the wedding went, tell her that I don’t think
you two are going to last.” He did tell his mom that. Byrd told Mark he wanted
him to pray if he should get married or not and not stop praying until he got
an answer. So Mark did.
Mark prayed and
cried his eyes out for over an hour trying to find out what the feeling he was experiencing
meant. He finally calmed down and got a one word answer, “Wait.” He was glad to
get an answer, wrote it down and hopped in bed.
The next morning (Dec
20th), once Byrd knew Mark was awake, climbed into bed with him and
asked what happened. “I don’t think I’m getting married tomorrow.” Mark told
him the feelings he had and the answer her received. “Well, you should probably
tell your parents because they will be the most supporting and understanding.”
They didn’t understand. Marks mom asked if it was cold feet or if it was just
the Devil trying to separate them. Mark told his mom that it wasn’t the devil
and it wasn’t cold feet, and he relayed the experience from the previous night.
His mom suggested a blessing from his dad.
His dad got home and
gave him a blessing. He stood up after the blessing and said he was getting
married the next day.
On December 21, 2012
they were married in the St. George Temple, just 5 months after Mark returned
from his mission(I’d say that was too early, but whatever floats his boat). Things
were great for a little while. They went to Disneyland for their honeymoon and
had a great time even though they both got sick. Maddie refused to stop kissing
Mark even though he was sick, so, in turn, she got sick as well. It was fun and
they had a great time.
The honeymoon phase
wore of quickly and they soon realized it took a lot of maturity to handle a
marriage. They were both still children at heart and as much as they were doing
their best to handle the marriage and the intimacy, it wasn’t happening. They
were getting into arguments every other day about the same things after a
resolution had been made. The roller coaster Mark was on was getting steeper
and steeper.
At the end of March of
2013 it was decided that they needed to separate for a time so they could
figure everything out and try to work out some differences. Maddie moved in
with Mark’s parents because it was closer to the school and her work. Mark eventually
stopped going to his parent’s house because he didn’t want to see or have
anything to do with Maddie at all. He didn't love her anymore.
April ended and
Maddie was really confused as to why Mark hadn’t spent time with her and had
been avoiding her, they were married after all. He invited her on a walk up the
Canyon Park Trail. He told her that he didn’t want to be married and that they
were better as just friends. She took it hard, but better than Mark had
anticipated. He said that she needed to move back in with her parents and that
it was for the best. So she did.
As the weeks past
and they filed for a marriage annulment, Maddie would text and call Mark to
argue about simple things that didn’t matter. It really annoyed him, so he
stopped answering her texts and phone calls. He didn’t want to argue, it was
stupid and pointless. He eventually told her to stop contacting him and it
would be in both of their best interests to not talk or have anything to do
with each other.
Their annulment was finalized on August 19, 2014. Since then
Mark started attending school outside of his home town as did she. It’s a sad
story, but Mark has told me he has taken it as a great positive experience.
Something he learned from even though it sucked it had to be the hard way. There
is positive in every situation, even a rocky and not so grand marriage.
Again, thanks to
Mark for allowing me to post his story. He is a truly remarkable person.
--Redd Rockwood
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